My Natural Birth Story: First-Time Labor Tips And Delivery For First-Time Moms

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Our multinational real & raw family labor and delivery story

I always start the story of my first-time labor with the tale called “The Shepherd Boy and The Wolf,” where the shepherd boy was once herding sheep and decided to play a joke on the woodcutters. He shouted and asked for help crying that a wolf was about to eat him.

Like in this tale, we had enough false alarms. And surely, it was the hell of emotional roller coaster ride for my husband and myself. Here I am to share my real & raw labor and delivery story to all firts-time moms, as well as give away some first-time labor tips.

I have been feeling contractions since the second week of September. They were occasional, not so strong, and they appeared only at night. It was quite an annoying and boring process though.

Then the “practice” contractions (aka Braxton Hicks) became more frequent. It was really impossible for me to differentiate the signs of real labor vs. false labor. I thought it was a special course to introduce me to sleepless nights. Which is true, right after the birth I suddenly had to switch to the 2-to-3-hour-wake-up routine for feeding.

I started to get tired from noises. I needed peace and sometimes to spend some time alone. And this was hardly achievable as we lived in a studio apartment and received my in-laws for a month exactly during my most challenging stage of pregnancy, labor and post-natal.

Last weeks of pregnancy: Reality vs Expectations

Towards the end of pregnancy I was very clumsy and somewhat ridiculous. I started to be forgetful and terribly slow. I no longer had the luxury of going for long walks. In recent weeks my baby’s head had dropped so low that I had to support my belly with two hands, lifting it slightly. My main fitness routine was climbing the stairs into the park towards the tram tracks. Every time, I could barely breathe. But every time I used to proudly say to my husband how great I was and how much easier and faster I climbed the steps that time. He used to laugh and agree with me. Although not long after I realized how slow I was actually. There is no snail in the world that would be jealous of me.

There was no first contraction. They were constant and annoying

I got used to the frequent contractions. Everyone did. I reckon that if I gave birth to triplets right in the bed, my husband wouldn’t be woken up. I was tired of the contractions, I was no longer averse to giving birth. Suddenly I understood why women want to give birth when approaching their due date. Despite the fact that my Plum was born tiny, only 3250g, he was already disproportionately cramped in my belly.

My body ached. I was heavily bruised

Firstly, the stomach stretches exactly as much as necessary. And secondly, the pain in the ribs was unbearable. Not only did his arms or legs used to rest against me, but because this used to happen all the time, it seemed to me that I had acquired internal bruises.

What about sleep? It didn’t exist

There was literally no suitable pose for me to sleep. Sleeping on the back was out due to vena cava; the right side ached; the left side (which is usually recommended to sleep on due to the location of the organs) also no longer functioned.

I slept in a sitting position until my neck used to feel numb. For fifteen minutes. Then I should accommodate myself differently with the help of numerous pillows. Sometimes Plum did something weird that caused a sharp pain that used to pierce me all over, and I would scream so hard that everyone would wake up. But sometimes I used to wake up due to lack of air.

So, in general, I wanted to give birth, but I also wanted to stay pregnant for a bit longer. Paradox, right?

I was in no hurry until I once again came for a check-up to my doctor “Mudr” Darebny.
– “Great! Cervix is 1 cm. You are 1 cm open too. Super! We’ll give birth soon.”
– “And when is this “soon”?”
– “You are completely ready. Now it’s up to the baby to decide when is the best time. However, we will not resist childbirth from now on. If it happens, it happens.”

But after a week, my check up showed a similar outcome. The only difference was that I was opened by 3 cm. It was October the 6^th. My doctor was convinced I should give birth any minute. Nobody knew that it would last five more days.

This was my time to moan, complain and be that type of person

I couldn’t stop moaning: “I really want to give birth now. My ribs ache, my back hurts, and the contractions don’t stop. Are these contractions? What are contractions anyway?”

That day at my home I couldn’t stop thinking of how I could potentially give birth….potentially. I hardly realized that I will be giving birth and becoming a mom soon. I was scared. Of course I was. We all are scared of something unknown and inexperienced. It’s hard to believe but I was excited and at the same time I didn’t believe this was all happening to me for real.

Lessons learned: False alarms and Braxton Hicks

I started to bleed. The entire check is quite lengthy and takes about an hour. Firstly, this is a vaginal examination, using all sorts of instruments to find the source of the bleeding; secondly, this is foetal electrocardiography (CTG), which takes about 30 minutes, then ultrasound, and then consulting with the doctor, waiting for him to come, etc. We arrived home by midnight.

The False Alarms: we are not in labor

Contractions did not occur once a week or once every two days. During the last week, they happened every night and lasted until the morning. It was still impossible to sleep. And surely it was impossible for me to understand the signs of real labor vs. false labor. I was giving up.

Due to the lack of sleep and rest, I really desired to give birth.

In the beginning, I wished my baby was born on Friday the 13th. It seemed to me that everything would be unique and special then. A boy born in the Czech Republic to parents from Argentina and Latvia with a dozen different bloodlines.

In the meantime, I tried everything to provoke the labor.

• I walked for four hours.
• I tried to ride a bike in the store.
• We had sex.
• I did Kegels exercises.
• I used to drink nettle and raspberry tea.

After another provoking intercourse, I started to bleed a lot. I doubted I was in labor as there were no signs of contractions. However, we had to go to the hospital for a check-up due to the extensive bleeding.

We got back home at 3 am in the morning.

I will do nothing while I still can

This is where we stopped to believe the shepherd boy. But it was not the end of our labor and delivery story though. I was so tired that I didn’t want hospitals, I didn’t want to go out or teach online classes. Instead, I cancelled everything and devoted myself and the baby to doing absolutely nothing.

It wasn’t my decision. It was my body’s necessity at the time as (only then I realized that) it was ready.

We sat to have dinner. I started to have my routine contractions. Only that this time my lower back pain was so much worse. I barely slept. At 7 am in the morning I felt so helpless that I had an urge to talk to my husband. I just needed to talk to someone.

The signs of real labor: Last day of pregnancy

He suggested we take a hot bath. It was relaxing indeed. But once I was out, the pain was back.

We didn’t believe in magic. I wasn’t entirely sure whether I had real contractions. I didn’t believe my shepherd boy anymore, and surely I didn’t want to go back to the hospital without being admitted. So, I downloaded the contraction timer, sent my husband to work and called my friend.

“Hiya! How are you? Listen, I can’t figure out whether I’m having contractions or not.”
“What do you feel?”
“Well, my back is about to be torn into pieces. I breathe hard and I have pain every 3 to 4 minutes for a minute, and once an hour for 6-7 minutes.”
“You have to have a very hard belly. Is it hard?
“Hmm… no, I don’t think so. It is quite pregnant though.”
“Then you are confused. You should wait for the belly to be as hard as an inflated balloon, you will understand when you get it. Go take a bath.”
“Sure. Thanks.”

Going in labor is nothing like they show it in movies

Half a day passed like this. I walked from side to side. My mother-in-law used to quietly observe me. And I kept breathing and periodically offered to touch my belly, asking with hope: “Is it hard?”
But it still wasn’t. I didn’t know that this were early labor signs.

I took another hot bath.

Who said that childbirth is an exciting process? As the doula told us, “This is not a movie where she has one contraction, calls an ambulance, waters break and she is immediately in labor. In real life, everything is much calmer and more boring.”

It was boring indeed. In the afternoon I decided I wanted my husband to be beside me. I firmly ordered him to miss his game with boys and get home immediately.
“Okay,” San frowned, “what time should I arrive?”
“Well, I don’t know…at 20:00. Better at 19:30″.

I sat down to watch my series.

7 pm.

My mother-in-law’s gaze shifted entirely to me. I could no longer concentrate on what was happening on the screen. For no reason, the interval between contractions suddenly decreased to one or two minutes. I didn’t complain. I was breathing calmly. After all, I clearly remembered that we were talking about Teo’s comfort, and I had to help him.

“Should we go to the hospital?” asked the mother-in-law.
“No, let’s wait for Santi”.

7:05 pm.
“Okay, let’s get ready. We still need to put this and this. I also want to pack a clean T-shirt for Santi, just in case… and some tea.”
My mother-in-law started to run from one place to another, frantically looking for things and packing my suitcase. Meanwhile, I habitually gave instructions, resting my hands on the sofa in a doggy position. As soon as I moved away from the sofa, I switched to the position of a four-legged cat.

7:15 pm.

The key turned in the lock. My husband finally arrived.

He looked at me. He called a cab. I only breathed and concentrated on my feelings.

Without taking off his shoes, he walked into the room and helped me put on my leggings, socks, and even lace up my Converse shoes. I crawled on my own fours.

“Look, we have 1 to 2 minutes before the next contraction,” I said, hanging on his neck, relaxing my legs, and focusing on my breathing.
The fight is over.

“Ok, ok, let’s go. Now!”, we hurried towards the exit.
During the 100-meter walk through our yard, I hung on Santi’s neck three more times. Finally, we went outside.
“What car?” I asked.
“He left.”
“What an asshole! Call someone else.”

I thought it was another false alarm, but this time was different

Another taxi came in five minutes. I crawled onto my knees on the seat. Every time I had a contraction, I used to grab Santi’s neck and hold him tight.

Finally, we arrived at the hospital.

“Are you ready to be a dad? Because I am not going anywhere without Teo in my hands!”

I was admitted. And again, vaginal examination, CTG and ultrasound.

“Well, the cervix has disappeared. The opening is only 3 cm,” the doctor gave me her verdict.

“What??? How 3 cm??? I have gained 3 cm since last Friday! I’ve been in pain all night until now. I’ll show you the contraction timer. And what should I do now?”, I jabbered in completely upset feelings. “That’s it! Now they will send me home,” I thought.
“Maybe there is 4 cm. Don’t worry, we’ll admit you now.”
“Really? Oh please do! Are you sending me to the maternity ward?”, I was afraid, because Santi was not allowed into the prenatal ward, and I didn’t want to give birth alone.
“Yes, we are.”

Maternity ward and pre-labor procedures: What I wish I knew before labor

I was smiling. Finally, we will get to spend some time together, relax, listen to music and wait for the magic moment. The truth is I did not know what to expect during labor. It was the path to the unknown and something quite risky.

It was 10^th of October 9 pm when we entered the ward. We didn’t have a clue that everything was yet to begin.

Enema

While we were settling down, the midwife came in with equipment for enema. By equipment, I mean that same tube. This was my first experience. The nurse strictly ordered Santi to sit opposite me and enjoy the time together while we could. My eyes became so puppy-like. I looked into his eyes, and whispered in Spanish: “I think I’m losing my virginity”.

In terms of enema, I wish I knew before labor that enema is not a mandatory procedure, that it can provoke the natural pace of labor (which was my case) and that some countries do not support enema. But I was vulnerable at that moment, it was hard to be opinionated, I knew that I should have been nice to the midwives who I depend on heavily, and also, it was sort of a norm in the Czech Republic to proceed with enema.

Truth to say, our birth was easy, and humor did not leave us throughout the entire process, which lasted around three hours. As it turned out later, we didn’t even get to listen to music or dream together; we had more important things to do.

I can’t say that I remember everything, then it seemed to me that I was in complete control of every moment. However, later it turned out that some things simply floated out of sight, the sequence was mixed up, I had gaps that I couldn’t fill in. I think, to some extent this happens to any woman, stuffed with natural hormones that help her cope with childbirth in the best possible way. They say childbirth is terribly painful; they say that life will change with the birth of a baby. Don’t believe it!

It wasn’t my case. Perhaps it was painful but it faded the moment our child was born.

Back to enema procedure. Well, 10 seconds passed and my husband burst into laughter. I was holding. It was hard as I felt how everything was shaking down there. These were the hardest five minutes in my life.

Besides, enema provoked my labor. These contractions were no joke anymore. I was explained to breathe like a dog, and wait for five minutes to pass. This was an amazing set of activities I had to experience: massively painful contraction, constant leakage (that by the way, lasted for the whole day), a tube in my arse which felt as if I am having bowel movement and my favourite beloved laughing husband in front of my face watching the clock.

“That’s it! I am done! The process is natural until now. I am going to the bathroom”.

I never saw so much poop coming out from one person. And this was including the fact that I did it three times that day. Later the midwife explained to me that it was only half of the content. Only A HALF?!

How does it feel when water breaks

Time came to return to bed. I slowly got out of the bathroom and felt the contraction again. So, I leaned towards the nearest table. Boom!!!! As if a champagne cork, something shot out of me. It felt like a standard-sized balloon coming through there rapidly. Lots of water was on the floor, or let’s say, pure liquid.

“Wow!” was my only thought.

My water broke.

I got to bed. I then thought that finally we were ready to get back to the original plan: relax and listen to music. I was wrong again.

Exactly when all procedures were accomplished. My labor has started.

How my partner supported me during labor: Tips for expecting dads

Delivery room and our natural birth experience

The midwife confirmed I had only 8 cm….too early. Contractions were heavy and painful, but I was prohibited to push. I had to hold and breathe like a dog to prevent myself from pushing.

I must admit, it was the hardest hour. This was the stage when my mind blurred and I don’t remember all the details.

This was the hour when I needed my husband’s support the most. I still ask myself how I could cope without him. After all, this was the reason why my birth went perfectly. For me personally, there will not be anything better or more intimate than sharing the moment of the birth of our son together.

He was breathing like a dog so hard, and his face was so near to mine. My hands did not let go of him even during short breaks. The contraction lasted a minute, it felt pretty fast, but it was hard not to push. Sometimes I was about to give up, this was when Santi wasn’t letting me relax. He used to shake my hands vigorously, press on the secret spot located between the thumb and forefinger (the scratches in those places lasted for another week after our son’s birthday), and place his face even closer to mine. He then breathed like a dog showing me the right way of doing it. And I like a baby obediently following his example.

During this hour, I didn’t not take my eyes off him for a millisecond.

The obstetrician suggested turning me onto the side. Now I’ve gotten used to it and learned to close my eyes while resting. I even managed to take a nap somewhere in between contractions. But I still held his hands tenaciously. Every move provoked me to have another contraction. The worst situation was when he finally got bored and said he needed to use the bathroom. This was the scariest time for me. Somehow, I was convinced that I would have a baby exactly at that moment.

Longing for anaesthesia

Earlier we agreed that anaesthesia could only take place in an emergency. Then I said “even if I change my mind during labor, please don’t follow my lead. I want to give birth and experience everything myself.” I changed my opinion immediately after the enema. I asked for painkillers more than once. As I mentioned earlier, my weak point was my back – it was aching terribly.

No one bothered to hear my requests. Everyone knew I could cope well without any additional chemical support. And they were right.

However, I had no time to relax. A couple of times I was asked to change labor positions. And finally they asked me to lie on my back. The bed magically transformed into a sitting chair. The time has come. My boy came out into the birth canal. He used to swim towards the exit.

“We don’t breathe like a dog anymore. When a contraction comes, push as hard as you can.” Either because of fatigue, or because I was too relaxed, I did not pay much attention to how hard I should have pushed.

Then, while pushing, I clearly felt the baby moving inside me. This is an indescribable feeling when you feel something incredibly huge and heavy in your lower spine. After a few contractions, I felt something pressing against the exit and bouncing back. This happened again the next time. It was our Plum’s head.

Shall we do episiotomy?

Plum had to get out! All doctors agreed to perform an episiotomy immediately.

And suddenly…..

I felt the contraction.

I pushed so hard that time, I tried so much. And it was worth it.

Plum’s head appeared.

Midwives shouted: “Stop! Don’t push!”

I stopped. We waited until he got his head out completely and was ready to stick his shoulders out. Having such a pause prevented me from unnecessary tears.

“Now push as hard as you can”.

And I did.

One more contraction and two shoulders appeared quickly.

It was my last contraction. I was so much into the process that when it was all over I got puzzled. I had one fantastic natural birth experience, I must say.

I opened my eyes.

Meeting Teo

From somewhere below, a light purple lump with dangling legs and a tummy appeared on the doctor’s palm. “How thick this umbilical cord is,” I noticed. They put him on my belly. We were given a couple of minutes as the baby was a little cold. Santi cut the umbilical cord. It was no longer Plum. Our Teo was born. Soon he was transferred to the table to be checked and swaddled.

This moment was so rapid. I always imagined how I would cry hysterically, frantically repeating “This is our son! This is our son!” I even dreamt about it. But such a moment itself was peaceful.

I didn’t know how to behave or what to do. Overwhelmed with feelings, we were silent, staring at this lump, which was simply trying to warm up and survive his first minutes on the planet Earth. He was magical.

He was carried away for only three minutes. I remember I then turned and said to Santi: “I’m ready to give birth to a second one.”

First-time labor tips

Cleaning, shower and I entered the ward at 3 o’clock in the morning. Santi went home.

We saw our family at 3 pm the next day. All our plans and ideas came true.

Teo Benjamin Iturmendi was born on October 11 at 00:24, 3250g and 51cm. He was born on the 40^th week of pregnancy, just as the doctors predicted in Buenos Aires. He was the most wonderful whitish guy with bright blue eyes, disproportionately large feet and hands, as befits a real man.

The journey of Teo has begun

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